Alone We Stand, Together We Fall Apart
By: acidlikkdreem@hotmail.com (Meaghan)

One: Just a Phase

Figuring nothing else could thrust his heart lower than the subway streets below him, Nick Valensi welcomed the bitter rain which fell upon him on the nearly deserted Lower East Side street he shuffled down. Instead of belittling himself, however, he merely wondered where and why the sunshine of his life decided to betray his emotions. Surely Nick being on tour with the band for five months factored well into the predicament, but his absence did not justify whatever happened. 

The apartment building came up fast, causing Nick to slightly backtrack. He trudged up the ancient concrete steps and proceeded to the third floor studio in much the same manner. His wondrous azure eyes zeroed in on the black and white diamond patterned flooring of the hall, barely raising them to find the lock of the door. He fumbled absently with his key until the door creaked open.

Pretty Vacant, Nick mused as he thought of the Sex Pistols song title to describe the atmosphere of the apartment. He did not bother to lock the door behind him or turn on the lights. All he managed to do was sink into the well worn vintage sofa and shut his weary eyes. Sleep came easy to him; however, the acute sound of designer heels clicked on the tiled floor outside the apartment. He remained in a relaxed position on the couch, but his heart fluttered amuck inside his breast cage. 

The door smacked off the wall. Nick opened his eyes with a start. He silently watched the familiar figure draped in a long mink coat stumble down the hall toward the kitchen. Having found he was not in the kitchen, she came back to the arch between the hall and the living area. She staggered in her drunken stupor and leaned against the wall for support. Her heavily made up eyes zeroed in on Nick to make sure he was actually there.

“You,” she grumbled, wagging a manicured finger his way. “You owe me.”

Nick did not move nor did he speak. 

“Who do you think you are leaving me at the bar?” she accused. “I coulda died coming home, but where were you? You’re here. Laying low. Such a waste of a human being.”

Nick bit his lip to keep from defending himself.

“Well, I hope you know you’re gonna hafta do a lot of ass-kissing to make up for this one, Nicky,” she warned him. “Beeeecause I-” She choked on her words in an attempt to push the vomit back to her stomach. “Cause I won’t-” She could not catch the heave of her stomach this time. 

Nick watched the pathetic figure drop to the floor on all fours and spasm as the foul spittle rushed out of her. “Oh, good job. Why don’t you go decorate the bedroom, too?”

“Go to hell,” she cried. “You clean it up! It’s all your fault.”

“How?” Nick laughed. “How do you see it as my fault that because I’m away for five months you go and sleep with everything that wags a twenty dollar bill your way? How is it my fault that when I find this all out you decide to runaway from confrontation by getting drunk, as you so often do? And how is it my fault that you felt it was more important to stand there and bitch at me than go to the bathroom like a civilized person?”

She wiped her mouth on the sleeve of her coat and rose to her feet. “I’m sorry, Nick. I won’t do it ever again. You’re right. I’m a really bad person.”

“Oh my God,” Nick mumbled in frustration. “That’s all on you.”

“But it’s all true,” she subbed. “I’m a piece of shit and everyone knows it. I’m a drunk, too. I know what they say about me. In my head I’m normal, though. It’s okay in my mind to be the way I am.”

Nick calmed and became rather sympathetic. “You can’t be like that, though. You have a child who needs a mother not a best friend. I do what I can to help you out with him, but it’s not enough.”

“I know,” she whimpered. “I promise I’ll change. I swear I will.”

Nick stood from the sofa and wandered to the bedroom door. “Come on,” he said invitingly. “Let’s go to bed.”

She carefully walked across the room to him and stared into his warm eyes innocently. “I’m sorry. I really am. You’re all I want.”

The troubled couple entered their bedroom and climbed onto the comfortable queen size bed. Nick cradled her in his arms until they both drifted to sleep several minutes later. Little did he know, his woes were about to escalate to a fever pitch.

* * *

Sunlight bled through the thin material of the bedroom curtains and beckoned Nick to awake. He rubbed at his crusty eyes until he could clearly see his surroundings. Something he did not see, as he turned onto his side, was his girlfriend. Assuming she might have been taking a shower to wash off the disgusting grim from last night, Nick continued on with his morning rituals. 

After smoking a cigarette, Nick grabbed a pair of holey jeans from the hardwood floor and a worn black Ramones T-shirt. He kicked around the other articles of clothing on the floor to find his trademark off-white Adidas sneakers. A mound of clothes he booted behind him nudged the bedroom door open. He glanced behind him and heard her hushed voice grow alert. 

Nick cautiously moved into the living room being superbly careful not to make any noise whatsoever. A wave of nausea passed through him while his mind pondered the situation. He heard her clearly now, telling the mystery guest that she would call them after her photo shoot. 

Deciding he had to take hasty action to give himself peace of mind, Nick scurried into the hall. Standing before him were his girlfriend of three years and another man, locked in an intimate embrace. She ripped herself away from his once Nick’s presence was known.

“You’re unbelievable,” Nick muttered. 

“Who the hell are you?” the stranger implored.

“Get out!” Nick ordered. 

“This is my apartment, too, Nick,” she reminded him. Then, to her secret lover, “I think you should leave. I’ll call you later.”

The stranger glowered at Nick before making his exit, but Nick did not process the stranger’s facial expression into his already flaring temper. Instead, Nick planned on venting his wrath on the person who deserved it the most - her. He, however, did not intend to scream or fight. No, Nick simply returned to the bedroom to put on a pair of shoes.

“Say something,” she demanded. She stood in front of the sofa to keep a safe distance between herself and Nick for fear he would lash out. “Anything.”

“Um,” Nick said with a hint of sarcasm. “I’m leaving.”

“For good?” she asked.

“You answered your own question,” Nick replied grimly. “I don’t know when I’ll be back to get my stuff, but I’ll be sure to come when you’re not around.”

She lowered her head. “I’m sorry, Nicky.”

“Whatever.” Nick shrugged, wiped a few strands of his shaggy brown hair from his face, and grabbed his wallet off the telephone stand outside the bedroom. 

“Please, don’t do this,” she pleaded, but she remained standing in front of the sofa while he strolled past her. Her attitude shifted to ignorance. “You’ll come back.”

“I wouldn’t hold my breath,” Nick called from the front door. He slammed it shut to release a bit of his raging anger. 

On Nick’s unknown path through the streets of his neighborhood, he began to realize how parallel she was to being a simple phase. He could not dwell on the fact that she cheated on him and lied because her actions were out of his hands. Sure, what happened hurt him a great deal, but carrying a bitter grudge about it would only hurt him more. 

Nick passed a hip café which had a blackboard sitting on the sidewalk. Written in colored chalk was the special of the day: Lime Grilled Puffer Fish with a side of Wild Rice and Lemon. The sight of the word “fish” brought a worn out, but true phrase to mind - many other fish in the sea. 

Yes, Nick thought without an ounce of disdain, she was just a phase.